My Truth : My 20s

24 June 2014

I saw an Instagram post last week that prompted this post...

"Nothing will fuck up your twenties more than thinking you're supposed to have your shit together."

*****



Then

I will never forget the day I turned 21 and I said to myself that I need to create a life plan and accomplish it by the time I hit 30. 
I wanted to be married, have more kids, own my house and most importantly have the career I've always wanted... all by the time I was 30.
That meant I had 9 years to reach my goal.

I'm a monumental forward planner and pride myself on this immensely, I plan for everything in life - no joke, however sometimes life gets in the way and you can never plan for fuck ups

I was 21 going on 22 when I entered my first REAL adult relationship. I was still in my first year of University and to me education always came first.
That was the plan. University - Graduate - Get a job in my sector - work my way up while maintaining my relationship - get married - Live Happily Ever After

So I had the partner down, now all I needed was to complete and graduate University. Tick
Next - Get a job in Media. Tick
Work my way up - Semi Tick (currently still doing this!)

It was all going to plan... nothing like a plan that goes to plan...

No.

Life sucked.
My relationship was toxic.
Job status was just a JOB
...and I simply wasn't happy

On the surface my life looked OK, but cracks started to show and slowly I gave up and my life literary came to a halt. 

I stopped caring about everything.

Only my closest knew what was I was going through, everyone else assumed it was a phase. It got so bad that I refused to celebrate my 26th birthday last year and even told all my friends not to wish me Happy Birthday.
I was in the worst place I could have ever been in my whole entire life and all I could think about is that I didn't want to be here anymore.
I couldn't sleep and I could just about eat.
Everyday I would wake up crying and go to bed in tears.

I literally shut myself out.

I was in a horrible place. 

It wasn't until I had a conversion with my friends and I mentioned how upset I was seeing all my peers settling down and I how felt like I had failed my relationship.

Then my friend turned to me and said...

"You think your old that's why your sad, but your not, you're still YOUNG and you have the rest of your life to settle down, NOW life is for having fun..."

It really hit home.

Why was I depressed and upset over something I couldn't control? 
Hell if I was 40, single, no job, house and all that Jazz maybe it would have been argued that my depression was valid, but I was only 26 with so much more life than sense and that's when it hit me. 

Now

Life couldn't be any better and I've finally accepted that my 20's is for living and making mistakes. 
I was so caught up in thinking that I had to achieve more than I had and to acquire a lifestyle that wasn't for me. When in actual fact I LOVE my life and there's not one thing wrong with it!

Sure I'm single, not really sure how and when my career will really take off and don't own my house, but I'm bloody HAPPY and that means so much to me than you'll ever know!

Moving Forward

Don't get caught up on things you can't control, we are YOUNG make your mistakes now so that when you get older you can officially say you have lived and learned!

"Clap your hands if you feel like a room without a room..."




Now time for a well deserved Vodka Tonic...

In my shirt and panties of course...

20 comments

  1. Lovely and honest. I'm proud of you x

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  2. A lot of people will relate to this. Great post!

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  3. Real Talk Baby Girl!!!!

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  4. Good to hear, I think when I was 22 I felt the same... Now I'm all about LIVING xxx

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  5. So glad to hear you're happier now :)

    Love Emma xx

    www.collagemepretty.blogspot.co.uk

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  6. I LOVE this post. The quote at the beginning is so true! Nobody has their shit completely together in their twenties... I definitely don't, yet!

    Em x

    http://whatemmawearsdaily.blogspot.co.uk/

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  7. Mish you beautiful woman, I deffo think allot of people go through this, thanks for sharing and glad you are in a happy place :-) <3

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  8. This was was a really inspiring post. I'm turning 20 this year and I did have a great fear of being a dissappointment to my loved ones because I wasn't out trying to be a nurse or a lawyer, but somewhere in the fashion industry. I try to remember that this is only the beginning, but when I see my peers, they're already graduating from college and have a solid career/relationship. Me? I'm only entering my first year of junior college. I guess I'm just a little dissappointed in myself. My main problem is that I need to stop comparing myself to other people.

    Sorry for rambling on your blogpost! But this literally hit me right in the heart.

    I hope you have a great day. ♡

    xx AlexisSplash

    http://deadlikeyourfame.blogspot.com/

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    Replies
    1. I was exactly the same, i graduated very late as i messed about and wasn't sure what i wanted, and i remember seeing people i had grown with going into good jobs, getting engaged and and settling down and all i wanted was to be on par with them, but when i chased what they had it only made me unhappy. So now I've realised that we all have to move at our own pace and not watch what over people are doing. Everyone has a path we don't have to be on the same one.

      Good luck with college and finding your feet with what you want to do! x

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  9. Lovely Post!! I definitely went through a similar stage because I wanted a partner, a job etc. As if my life was an A4 project map. I am learning not to freak when I fail and to be passionate life even when I am surprised in the wrong way. Thanks for opening up.
    imparfait-treasure.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. Honey life is for living! Lets do that first before we commit to things we can't handle! x

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  10. Great post!! I can definitely relate to this as can many others you should be proud of your self! Your a great women and beautiful too xx

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  11. such a raw and thought provoking piece.
    I admire you for being able to be so open and honest x

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  12. beautiful! This is so honest and true. Life never goes the way you expect or plan. I always say, let it be and just flow like water

    francesca
    FrankVinyl

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  13. This was so interesting to read as that's exactly how I feel about myself. I feel like I'm supposed to be ticking off things from a list and it's just not happening! You're right, this is the time to live and make mistakes. Great post x

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  14. Omg! I'm feeling the same way. I really loved this post, came at the right time.

    www.lookwhatigot.co.uk

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  15. you have no idea how much volume this post spoke to me. I decided not to post my truth on my blog but this post has inspired me to be more open. 20s are for living! x

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  16. Great post, thank you for sharing your truth! More of us 20 somethings need to practice honesty, there is real healing in honesty. Peace, love & light x

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